I had a client that came to my shop at closing one Sunday
night. She had found us on the internet and wanted a “whole new wardrobe.” I
stayed with her for three hours finding outfit after outfit that fit her
perfectly. Clothing that flattered her shape and gave her a professional
appearance that could only help in advancing her career. This was her goal.
A funny thing happened.
She didn’t like anything. Even when it fit perfectly. Even when it flattered her shape. Even when
she looked gorgeous! You see, her mind had been poisoned. I don’t know if it
was by her mother, by her friends or by society. She just hated herself. She
hated the way she looked. She hated the way she looked from the side and at any
angle standing in front of the mirror. So she camouflaged it by wearing men’s
t-shirts and bulky sweaters and jeans. So old hat! Didn’t she ever watch, “What
Not to Wear” or “Big Brooklyn Style?”
I am now frustrated. I completely wasted my time, talent and
effort with someone who was beyond help. I was completely drained. I had stayed three
hours after closing and she walked out empty handed, I literally collapsed with
exhaustion. As she was leaving she commented, “I wish I was leaving with loads
of bags of new clothes!” and I quietly said, “So do I.” At this point I did add
that instead of retail therapy she should seek extensive therapy. She needed to
heal from within first.
It is my experience of dressing women that you need to find
the tools to help you heal both your body and your soul. It’s not just Clothing.
It’s not just Diet. It’s digging deep. Finding meaning. Finding your Spirituality. It all must all work
together to let you become the best possible version of yourself. Even the best
dress will not solve all of your problems.
You have to heal.
Are you “Extensive Therapy Girl?”
Some, and I not exactly this fits your customer, have suffered severe abuse. Looking good brings them attention that they fear may bring more abuse. It is hard to notice, because they are otherwise normal, and like normal people; they crave the idea of looking good. But when they actually notice, "hey I stand out as looking good" the primal fear from the abuse comes back.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I don't think that fits the customer you describe, but do consider with some patients. Your customer seemed to have the normal insecurities, if she was willing to try on multiple outfits. And in that case, yeah, it would be frustrating.
Great post! Very interesting.