Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Are you “Extensive Therapy Girl?”

I had a client that came to my shop at closing one Sunday night. She had found us on the internet and wanted a “whole new wardrobe.” I stayed with her for three hours finding outfit after outfit that fit her perfectly. Clothing that flattered her shape and gave her a professional appearance that could only help in advancing her career. This was her goal.

A funny thing happened.

She didn’t like anything. Even when it fit perfectly.  Even when it flattered her shape. Even when she looked gorgeous! You see, her mind had been poisoned. I don’t know if it was by her mother, by her friends or by society. She just hated herself. She hated the way she looked. She hated the way she looked from the side and at any angle standing in front of the mirror. So she camouflaged it by wearing men’s t-shirts and bulky sweaters and jeans. So old hat! Didn’t she ever watch, “What Not to Wear” or “Big Brooklyn Style?”

I am now frustrated. I completely wasted my time, talent and effort with someone who was beyond help.  I was completely drained. I had stayed three hours after closing and she walked out empty handed, I literally collapsed with exhaustion. As she was leaving she commented, “I wish I was leaving with loads of bags of new clothes!” and I quietly said, “So do I.” At this point I did add that instead of retail therapy she should seek extensive therapy. She needed to heal from within first.

It is my experience of dressing women that you need to find the tools to help you heal both your body and your soul. It’s not just Clothing. It’s not just Diet. It’s digging deep. Finding meaning.  Finding your Spirituality. It all must all work together to let you become the best possible version of yourself. Even the best dress will not solve all of your problems.

You have to heal.

Are you “Extensive Therapy Girl?”

1 comment:

  1. Some, and I not exactly this fits your customer, have suffered severe abuse. Looking good brings them attention that they fear may bring more abuse. It is hard to notice, because they are otherwise normal, and like normal people; they crave the idea of looking good. But when they actually notice, "hey I stand out as looking good" the primal fear from the abuse comes back.

    Again, I don't think that fits the customer you describe, but do consider with some patients. Your customer seemed to have the normal insecurities, if she was willing to try on multiple outfits. And in that case, yeah, it would be frustrating.

    Great post! Very interesting.